What is internalized homophobia? It is a self-inflicted destruction based on the fear of admitting to same sex attraction. Why do people do self-inflicted destruction? At times it is because society, family, friends, and the community make them believe they are wrong because they are homosexual. Different people need to handle homosexuality differently. The people who are homosexual have to handle it within and then handle the other people in their lives.

As with any significant changes in a person’s life, there are changes that need to be made to accommodate the new world. These changes will each need time, but as each change is accomplished, the internalized homophobia will decrease along with the self-inflicted destruction, and the self-love will increase. Here are some steps to take to overcome internalized homophobia.

• Self-analyze: Look at yourself and admit to yourself that homosexual is what you are. You know there is nothing wrong with it and it’s not something you created. Now you know you need to come to an agreement with yourself that you are homosexual and it is acceptable.
• Take a look at any self-inflicted challenges. Analyze what you have been doing, why, and what do you need to do to stop. How can you take these and make an alternative action that would actually be productive or beneficial? This will make positive life changes for you and make homosexuality easier to accept.
• Once you don’t have a problem with admitting your sexuality to yourself then you shouldn’t have a problem admitting it to anyone else. Each individual had a life of their own. What you do in your life is your business, just like what they do in their life is their business. This is your sex life, not theirs.
• Base your life around what makes you happy, not what makes anyone else happy. Point out to them that you don’t penalize them for things you do not necessarily agree with and for not being homosexual.
• Every morning you have to look in the mirror and be happy with what you see. Make sure that when you look into the mirror you see the homosexual that you are! That is great! That makes you happy and that is what makes your happy life. Nobody else needs to look in that mirror.
• There may always be a person that has difficulties accepting your sexuality. If somebody has a problem with you being a happy homosexual, it’s their problem not yours. Let them deal with their own self-inflicted problem they are creating.
• Base your life around what makes you happy, not what you think you need to do to make other people happy. See what you are, not what you’re told you should see. It is your life and there are always people who will accept you for who you are. They are the people who will help you make changes to your new world.

When people have to accept something that society or family has not accepted it is more difficult than when it is just a change that everyone has to make. Take for example cell phones. When they first came out there was a lot of resistance, but today thanks to persistence they are accepted and widely used. However, before they were accepted, they did cause a lot of issues among people and even businesses. Slowly people learned how to make cell phones beneficial such as the calendars on them and the internet for information.

The acceptance of homosexuality is like cell phones. It is a change and many people do not like change. However, homosexuality has been around a lot longer and still has not been accepted by many. This causes many homosexuals to have more internalized torment over the years than cell phones ever did.

Society is gradually accepting homosexuality, but still that does not mean that the family, friends, and community have accepted it. However, that is them and that is their loss. Homosexuality is a whole new world just like cell phones opened a new world.

People can enjoy the world evolution like they did with cell phone as it is happening or they can learn to just deal with it, but not expect the homosexuals to not live life to the fullest. You have overcome the internalized homophobia and you can move on with your personal life and find a significant other to share your wonderful world.